"On that note, that being said, it was damn hard kissing her. You've never experienced anything until you've had a mature, darting tongue in your mouth." (On kissing the older woman in Van Wilder)

"Acting has given me a way to channel my angst. I feel like an overweight, pimply faced kid a lot of the time - and finding a way to access that insecurity, and put it toward something creative is incredibly rewarding. I feel very lucky."

"Go easy on me 'cos my nipples are kinda sensitive." - MTV TRLbefore Fat Suit Face Off

"Dear Mr. Reynolds. You were awesome in Van Wilder. Those dog's balls were huge. L-O-L." - On Conan reading a fan letter

"You don't ask him what he thought of last week's episode of Touched By an Angel." - On Conan about Wesley Snipes

"When I exhale, I turn into Tom Arnold."

"I could write a strongly worded haiku in my defense." - On Conan

"You know when you've hit the big time when you're picking up your dog's shit." - MTV Diary